In my work with teens, I consistently observe that teens who have a sense of purpose and feel relevant fare better.
We all need to be productive, to love and to feel necessary, right? We may forget, though, that the same goes for our teen sons and daughters.
When we think about the lives of our teens, we may think about how they are doing in school, the sports or other activities they’re involved in, and their friendships. But we frequently forget about their need not only to achieve and socialize but also to feel that they matter.
If teens feel that their presence is necessary, then they will be able to more easily weather the difficulties of adolescence. On a day when they have experienced typical adolescent disappointments, such as a breakup or trouble at school, they will be more resilient if they feel needed.
[See: 7 Ways to Build Resilience for Crises and Everyday Life Challenges.]
There are many ways that parents can help teens to feel relevant and develop a sense of purpose. Here are some examples:
Make your family feel like a community, where everyone has responsibilities. This, of course, includes your busy teens. Even though they may resist tasks that you have given them, they will secretly take pride in the fact that they are needed and in completing those jobs. Consider tasks such as pet care, meal planning and perhaps even helping younger siblings.
Encourage your teen to volunteer. I know that teens are typically already involved in lots of high school and after-school activities. Nonetheless, I believe that volunteer work is critical in the lives of teens. It’s not only good for their hearts and souls, but it gives them another way to increase their sense of purpose. After all, what makes one feel better than helping others?
[See: 10 Ways to Raise a Giving Child.]
Consider suggesting that your teen pick up an after-school job. This may be as minimal as babysitting for a few hours each week. Or it could consist of working as a cashier at a local grocery store for 15 hours per week. This will accomplish two things: Your teen will be a part of a team and learn how to manage money. I am a firm believer in the importance of jobs for teens.
Invite your teen to join you when you visit a lonely neighbor or an ailing relative. You will teach your child the importance of being present for those in need. Your teen will also get the message that she is part of something larger than herself and that she’s needed in a variety of areas in life.
Encourage your teen to look out for friends, too. When your teen is going out with friends remind him that he and his friends are responsible for one another. Our kids must look out for each other. This, too, creates a feeling of importance and being necessary and may even lead to greater safety.
[See: 10 Concerns Parents Have About Their Kids’ Health.]
Praise your teen when he or she does good things for others and is a positive part of the community. After all, it not only takes a village to raise a child, it takes everyone working together for a community to run smoothly; and our teens need to know that they are a very important part of this village.
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5 Ways to Help Your Teen Develop a Sense of Purpose originally appeared on usnews.com
