No one is perfect, not even your boss. But what do you do when faced with a micromanaging leader or a manager who suddenly lashes out? We all face relationship issues in our personal lives and your relationship with your boss at times is not all that different.
Before you instinctively blame your boss, think about how you may have contributed to the problem. What did you do or say that made your boss feel the need to behave the way that he did? Next, dig deeper and ask yourself why your boss’s behavior made you feel so angry? Are you already sensitive about your credibility? Have you always needed praise and support from people? When you can identify the root cause of your anger toward your boss, you’ll be able to recognize and control how you choose to respond in the future.
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Knowing which battles are worth fighting will help you determine the course of action most suitable for your situation. If you need to hold on to your job, consider that saying something to your boss could potentially lead to retaliation, such as a firing. Before you take any action, you need to consider how your boss will respond.
When deciding how you handle the boss from hell, there are at least four different options you can choose from.
Just deal with it. Your boss may be under a lot of stress, either at work or outside of work. Their behavior may be a result of that stress, so you may want to just wait it out and hope the situation resolves itself. You can also take this approach if your boss’s behavior doesn’t directly impact you or your work. It’s important to remember that you control how you respond to your boss’s words and actions. Instead of getting angry, frustrated or taking it personally, try stepping back. Your boss probably has no idea how you are feeling and she might not even care. Since you are the one who is feeling insulted, angry, embarrassed or whatever emotion you are experiencing, it’s up to you to manage your feelings. It’s incredibly hard to change other people, but you have the power to change how you respond. And learning how to manage your emotional response is a skill that will serve you well.
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Address the issue indirectly. Send your boss an article related to the issue. In your email, you could say you have a similar situation with one of your teammates and would value his perspective on how to best resolve the issue. This indirect approach may help your boss re-evaluate his own leadership tactics after responding to your question; at least that’s the idea. Alternatively, you can contact your human resources department and let them know of your boss’s behavior and how to move forward.
Ask if your boss is open to input and give suggestions for optimizing the team. Before you barge into your boss’s office and give him an earful, ask if he is open to the idea of hearing feedback. If you get the green light, plan on presenting the facts in a non-accusatory tone. You want to make sure your boss knows that your intention is sincere and that you want to make the team stronger and more successful. You may even be able to cite an example of something good your boss has done for the team before sharing your observations.
Address how it makes you feel. When you explain to your boss how embarrassed you felt by her criticizing your work in front of the team, it becomes more difficult for her to get angry or defensive. Your boss can’t change how you feel, but she can change how she presents her critique. You may say something like: “I appreciate the feedback you provided in yesterday’s meeting. I agree, the process could be managed better. I’m not sure you intended to, but I took what you said as a criticism of my project management and that you didn’t trust how I am handling the situation. I was embarrassed to hear this feedback in front of the entire team. Again, I value your feedback and hope we can work on improving my skills, but behind closed doors.”
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Timing is everything. Give careful thought to what you plan to say to your boss, as well as when. It’s probably best not to address the situation in the heat of the moment or in front of other people. You may need to schedule a time to get on your boss’s calendar. Consider a time when your boss’s day is less chaotic.
No matter which option you choose, think about how your boss will respond. You want to have the final say in whether you stay or leave. Know what your backup plan will be in case you need to find a new job. This means, if you can’t afford to be out of work, it’s best to start looking for a new job before you approach your boss directly.
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4 Ways to Handle the Boss From Hell originally appeared on usnews.com
