From commercials to pop culture, our children are bombarded with messages that tell them it’s better to get than to give.
Yet, it’s in giving that ultimately we may reap the most significant rewards, according to research. In a large-scale study described in their book “The Paradox of Generosity,” researchers Christian Smith and Hilary Davidson found that generous people tend to be happier, healthier and more purposeful in life. Other research shows that generous people are more financially successful, less likely to relapse when they are challenged with addiction and more connected in their relationships than their less generous counterparts. Who wouldn’t want all these great benefits for a child, while at the same time having a child who is more giving?
[See: 10 Good Deeds and Why You Should Do Them.]
While most children may not be flush with cash or have lots of expensive possessions, there are still many ways that kids can be generous. So it’s important to discuss generosity with your children, including sharing your ideas, while also asking your kids about how they would like to give to others. Here are some examples of ways your children can be generous that don’t involve money:
Give time. Time is our dearest resource. Children can use their time to help others in small ways, from walking the neighbor’s dog to taking out the trash. Even spending a little time with a grandparent or finding a moment to read a book to a younger sibling shows generosity, and that usually makes everyone involved feel great.
Give of talents. Are your kids great at fixing broken things, baking, playing a musical instrument or keeping little kids entertained? Talents are blessings that can be bestowed upon others. It may seem like a small thing, but even my 6-year-old, whose explorative brain makes him the family-described “king of finding lost things,” is routinely generous with his talent anytime someone in the house can’t find a missing item. He invariably seems to finds it, which is great for us; and he also feels successful, useful and happy because he can be of service to his family.
Share treasures. It’s helpful to give money to charity, and we certainly need to teach our children to give a fraction of their allowance or savings to a cause that is meaningful to them. But there are other treasures that children can share. Can your daughter give her key chain to her brother who’s been admiring it for days? Can your son give his old backpack to a friend in a rough spot? Many of us have extra clothing or household items that we’re not using, and it’s good to teach kids how they can help take inventory and determine what could be given away. Whether pots and pans, sweaters and socks, blankets or books, these items can help others immensely.
[Read: 10 Ways to Raise a Charitable Kid.]
Team up. Encourage children to enlist the help of friends and family so that everyone can work as a team to help others. For example, get a group together to do a benefit walk or bake for a family going through a rough patch. In December, our whole family, along with some friends, adopted a family for the holidays and bought items off their wish list. The kids were able to go to the store and help purchase some of the items for the children who were in need. We couldn’t have made such an impact without the help of everyone involved.
Come together. Bryan Stevenson, founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, urges people to “get proximate” to those who are in need. Whether your child wants to help a friend who has a disability or support people who are homeless, we need to spend time with those in need so that our eyes and heart will be opened.
Give thanks. Finally, we must model being grateful for our children. There is no way to be too generous with gratitude. It takes little time and effort, doesn’t cost anything and means so much to those we thank. And often we don’t give thanks enough.
[Read: The Importance of Raising Grateful Children — and How to Do It.]
In the face of concerns that children (not to mention adults) are becoming more entitled today, it’s imperative we help kids see the ways that they can be generous and provide them with opportunities to be more giving out of habit. In addition, when we give generously — and teach our children to do the same — it can spark others to be more giving as well. That’s just one more way everyone stands to benefit from being generous.
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6 Ways Kids Can Be Generous That Don’t Involve Money originally appeared on usnews.com
