C’mon, ‘fess up: Have you ever taken pleasure (secretly or overtly) at someone else’s misfortune? Maybe you found yourself smiling when you heard that a nasty, cutthroat colleague didn’t get the promotion he or she was striving for. Or, maybe you felt oddly pleased when you found out the ex who dumped you was having relationship problems. Or, maybe you thought that justice was served when a snobby neighbor who flaunted a lavish lifestyle ended up filing for bankruptcy.
If you have ever felt this way, you’re far from alone. At one time or another, most people have derived some satisfaction from seeing or hearing about someone’s minor mishaps, troubles or failures — a phenomenon called schadenfreude. In fact, a 2014 study in the journal PLoS One found that children as young as 2 showed signs of schadenfreude in response to unfair situations involving their peers.
“Feeling schadenfreude is a very human experience,” says Mina Cikara, an assistant professor of psychology at Harvard University who has done extensive research on schadenfreude and empathy. “Even when there is not a tangible benefit to the observer or some greater social justice served, [other people’s] misfortunes are pleasurable in part because they make people feel better about themselves. It seems to be borne mostly out of social-comparison processes: If I compare myself with others and find that I’m not as good as [they are], I’m much more likely to be pleased when they get taken down a notch.”
[Read: What’s Causing Your Bad Mood — and How to Overcome It.]
Beyond that basic human social-comparison instinct, certain situations are ripe for schadenfreude. These include if you stand to gain from another person’s misfortune, if the other person’s troubles are somehow deserved, or if something unfortunate happens to someone whom you dislike, resent or envy. “Sometimes more than one of these things causes schadenfreude at the same time — we can feel schadenfreude toward someone because we dislike them, they are a rival and their loss is our gain,” explains Colin Wayne Leach, a professor of psychological sciences at the University of Connecticut in Storrs who has conducted research on schadenfreude.
Experienced Schadenfreude? What That Might Say About You
Research suggests that low self-esteem or a sense of inadequacy or inferiority may be factors in those who regularly experience schadenfreude. A 2011 study in the journal Emotion found that people with low self-esteem were more likely to experience schadenfreude when confronted with a high achiever’s setback (in this case, a negative review of a presentation he or she gave) since it provides the observers with low self-esteem an opportunity to feel better about themselves. Indeed, envy often plays a role. In a series of studies published in the September 2013 issue of the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, researchers found envy was a powerful element underlying feelings of schadenfreude toward high-status people with whom the subjects might feel competitive.
[See: Am I Just Sad — or Actually Depressed?]
Meanwhile, a 2015 study in the journal Psychological Reports linked experiences of schadenfreude with depression. The study found that moderately depressed people reported more schadenfreude and less freudenfreude — pleasure from witnessing others’ successes, or the opposite of schadenfreude — than those who weren’t depressed.
“When you’re depressed, and you’re feeling inadequate, other people’s successes become unbearable to witness because it sets up a comparison that makes you feel worse,” explains study co-author Catherine Chambliss, chair of psychology and neuroscience at Ursinus College in Collegeville, Pennsylvania. “It’s kind of true that misery loves company. The problem is, schadenfreude in people with depression ends up being toxic to their friendships,” especially if it’s expressed. This can cause people who already feel sad or despondent to become socially isolated, which can worsen their depression.
Learning From Schadenfreude
If you frequently experience schadenfreude, it may be worth examining what lies beneath the feeling so you can learn from it. After all, feeling good about someone else’s misfortune is at best a fleeting high. “It makes you feel better for the moment,” Chambliss says, “but it doesn’t address what’s underneath that feeling.”
For starters, “as a ‘relational’ emotion, schadenfreude tells us a great deal about how we relate to those we feel it toward — and how concerned and caring we are about their well-being,” Leach says. By reflecting on this issue, you may come to discover that you view an assertive colleague as a rival or feel envious of a friend or neighbor who seems to have it all — and that’s why you took pleasure in his or her downfall.
If you often end up feeling guilty about experiencing pleasure instead of empathy when things don’t go in someone’s favor, you can take steps to reduce your feelings of schadenfreude. When someone suffers a setback, make an effort to focus on the person’s good traits or how lousy you’d feel if the same thing happened to you, Leach suggests.
[See: Apps to Mind Your Mental Health.]
Another helpful tactic is to reduce the degree to which you see that person as a rival or foe. To that end, “it helps to consciously try to cultivate more compassion toward the person,” Chambliss suggests. “Be on the lookout for when someone else experiences success. Ask questions about it, and try to celebrate other people’s victories.”
If you’re prone to frequent schadenfreude, it’s also wise to consider what that might say about you. Ask yourself: Do I feel insecure, inadequate or inferior in some way? If you do, think about whether there’s “any productive action you could take” to address those feelings, Chambliss advises. If the colleague whose misfortune you relished had previously received praise from the boss that you could have received but didn’t, it’s worth considering what you could do differently in the future to garner that kind of positive feedback, Cikara suggests. “Alternatively, you could try to remind yourself that you may possess other strengths that [the other] person doesn’t have, which may help lessen the sting of that upward social comparison,” she says.
Ultimately, what may be best is to “stop engaging in upward or downward social comparisons,” Chambliss says. Instead, identify your own personal values and cultivate a sense of purpose — then set goals for yourself accordingly. Besides helping you feel better about yourself and improving your mood, Chambliss says that taking steps to reduce schadenfreude “improves relationships by reducing the competitive element.”
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The Roots of Schadenfreude: Why We Take Pleasure in Other People’s Pain originally appeared on usnews.com
