If there’s one thing that’s harder than managing your own money it’s this: co-managing money with a romantic partner. Talk about drama. In addition to all the challenges of budgeting, saving and investing, couples have to navigate competing priorities, incomes and financial management styles.
“Many couples have challenges with money, and their solution is often to avoid facing it,” says Anna Sergunina, a certified financial planner and owner of MainStreet Financial Planning and creator of Money Library, an online platform for financial advice. “But this isn’t the most prudent way to handle your finances.”
So what’s the best way to manage money with a partner? U.S. News asked readers to share their stories of successful money co-management. Their responses have been edited for length and clarity.
[See: 10 Foolproof Ways to Reach Your Money Goals.]
Lou Altman, 52, CEO, Portsmouth, New Hampshire
“It is simple: We keep separate accounts and one joint account to which we both contribute enough to cover the joint expenses: mortgage, cable, electricity. She has her money and can do what she wants with [it], and I have mine. If she wants 10 new pairs of shoes, she is the one buying them, just as when I bought a bass guitar signed by Rush, I was the one buying it. We maintain the respect for each other, so that the joint account is adequately funded. We both use payroll deduction. If one of us is spending a little more than usual (as I am now on medical co-payments), we communicate what we need: “Sweetie, I love taking you on dates, but right now we’ll need to cut back until the medical payments slow down.” (I am eliminating cancer). No hard feelings, no grudge. We are in this together, forever, and money is hardly a thing to get between us, so we don’t allow it to do so.”
Elle Clarke, 31, author and CEO of Elle Clarke Media Group, Miami
“My husband has always been better with managing and accounting for our money. He knows where every dollar is or where it goes. We [have] joint accounts because, even though he’s in charge of the money, there [is] nothing that happens with our money that the other doesn’t know about. This makes it super hard for me to hide or buy new shoes. I think it is super important for couples to be on one accord when it comes to finances because this is the reason why many marriages fail.”
Chris Heuwetter, 35, CEO and founder of www.98BuckSocial.com, Jupiter, Florida
“I’m married, and we have two kids, 5 and 2. We own a home in South Florida, and I own a business … My wife is a homemaker and homeschools our children. Since I make all of the income, I manage all of the finances for our house. I keep track of income [versus] expenses, pay all of the bills and pay my wife an ‘allowance,’ for lack of a better term, as well as a stipend for all other expenses like groceries, gas, things for the kids, etc. We discuss all major expenses together, and I set a budget for myself as well.
This may appear old-fashioned, but it works very well for us. We’ve been able to put away a sizable amount into savings, and we really do much of what we want. Since we’re keeping track of everything, we feel good about where the money goes, and we can continue unless we feel something needs to change.”
[See: 9 Scary Things Consumers Do With Their Money.]
Tammy Bauer, 35, bookkeeper and financial strategist, Edmonton, Canada
“My partner Craig and I own a house together, and we do not have kids. We keep our finances mostly separate, but we each contribute an equal amount to a joint account every month. We buy groceries, pay the mortgage, buy insurance, etc., from the joint account. We also have a joint credit card, reserved exclusively for joint purchases. We prefer to have separate accounts, so that we each have autonomy over our money. Having said that, if there is a big-ticket item that either of us would like to buy, we discuss it. Our system works very well for us and avoids a lot of fights about money.”
[See: 8 Big Budgeting Blunders — and How to Fix Them.]
Danny Zoucha, 32, author, Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
“My wife and I have basically done it all. I’ve always been the primary breadwinner, but for a very long time early on, she was in charge of the finances, and I didn’t even look at them. This didn’t work because, without a finger on the pulse, I could get a little spendy. [A]nd without a common vision, we had no idea where we were headed. We then moved internationally, and I was handed the reigns, mostly out of her frustration, and that brought me back to reality. I steadied the ship and developed a bit of responsibility. Another international move later, and we’re now back to her managing the funds with me being her support person.”
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For Richer or Poorer: How 5 People Co-Manage Money With a Significant Other originally appeared on usnews.com
