There’s nothing better than hearing that your best friend got engaged.
Until you start running the numbers on what it’s going to cost you. Attending a wedding can be an expensive feat on its own — you need to get there, possibly book a hotel room and shell out for a wedding gift. With meals costing upwards of $150 a plate and etiquette guidance suggesting that your gift at least equate to the cost of the meal, things can get expensive real fast.
[See: 11 Expenses Destroying Your Budget.]
Once you’re in the bridal party, forget about it. To get picture-perfect for the wedding, you’ll need to spring for a dress, shoes, hairdo and possibly makeup. You’ll need a wedding gift, bachelorette party gift and shower gift.
You’ll need to attend the bachelorette party, which almost always includes popping for at least one night in a hotel, and you’ll pitch in to cover the bride’s share of things. You’ll split the cost of the bridal shower (along with the other bridesmaids). And you’ll use vacation days at work to cover those events and more to attend commitments like the wedding rehearsal.
In 2010, a WeddingChannel.com survey found that the average cost of being a bridesmaid was $1,695. As America has moved farther away from the depths of the recession, that number is only rising.
Don’t get stuck shelling out a month’s rent! Here are smart ways to trim the cost of being a bridesmaid.
You’re a bit at the mercy of your bride here. Let’s start with the quickest and best way to keep your bridesmaid budget reasonable — level with the bride. Most of the time, you’ve wound up a bridesmaid because this wonderful thing is happening to someone you love! And the bride loves you, too, and probably doesn’t want to bankrupt you. If money is an issue, just say so. The most effective way to keep costs down is to have a frank conversation about it upfront and request that efforts be made to make budget-friendly decisions when it comes to bridesmaid requirements.
[See: 10 Money-Saving Websites to Check Before Shopping.]
You could suggest that the bride pick a color, and then allow bridesmaids to find appropriate dresses within these parameters. But even if your bride wants everyone to look alike — you can still save on her gown of choice.
Big wedding shops like David’s Bridal have clear style and color systems that allow you to search for the item online very easily. For instance, your bride isn’t asking you to get the short blue dress with the spaghetti straps, she’s asking you to get the Chiffon Short Bridesmaid Dress with Pleating Style F19229 in Horizon, which is a phrase that can be searched. You can go to David’s Bridal, try on the dress and then check sites like eBay.
There’s also a growing collection of sites dedicated specifically to reselling things like bridesmaid dresses, including Wore It Once, Bridesmaid Trade and My Bridal Bids.
The Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party
If you’re an out-of-state bridesmaid, it is completely acceptable to inform the bride that you just can’t make these activities, or explain that you can only afford to attend one of them, letting her choose which event.
Sometimes it also pays to lay it out for the other bridesmaids, noting that you’re cash-strapped and need to stick to a budget for covering communal costs; you could also offer to be the person who runs all of the errands and does extra tasks to make up for not being able to fully chip in.
[See: 6 Ways to Treat Yourself on a Budget.]
The Gift
While it’s customary to cover the price of your plate with your wedding gift, if money is tight but you’ve agreed to be a bridesmaid and your friend is aware that money is restricted, it’s entirely acceptable for the cost of all your bridesmaid duties to be the wedding gift.
It is also fine to forgo a check or cash and try to find a small, personalized memento to commemorate the day. It shows you care and if you keep an eye out for deals, you can keep the cost within your budget.
If your friend isn’t someone with whom you feel comfortable having an upfront conversation about your finances, then maybe you’re not really close enough to be a bridesmaid anyway. A true friend will understand if you’re so broke you can’t be in the wedding or if you’re so broke you need some concessions to be part of the celebration.
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How to Be a Bridesmaid on a Budget originally appeared on usnews.com
