When actress and writer Christina McDowell was growing up, life seemed pretty perfect: Settled in an affluent Washington neighborhood, she and her sisters enjoyed private planes, vacations in Nantucket and a household staff to maintain their home and routines. “I was growing and being shaped inside a bubble of wealth where everyone I surrounded myself with appeared to accept it as normal,” she writes in her new book, “After Perfect: A Daughter’s Memoir.”
But soon, when McDowell was a young adult, that world came crashing down. Her father was arrested by the FBI on fraud charges and he later accepted a plea deal that included time in prison. She discovered that her father had also used her identity to open up credit accounts, which left her with tens of thousands of dollars of debt in her name.
McDowell has spent the last decade recovering from her family’s financial downfall and rebuilding her life, as both an actress and writer. While her story is unusual, many of the lessons she learned are universal. She spoke with U.S. News about her story of survival and shared these take-aways:
1. Tell your story.
Difficult events, even ones that aren’t as extreme as the one McDowell experienced, can be embarrassing and even shameful. But McDowell says sharing her story is what helped her recover. “Writing healed me and saved me in so many ways,” she says. “It helped me process my feelings. I felt very isolated when it was happening,” she says, adding that once she started writing her book, she was motivated to connect with and help others who might be experiencing something similar.
2. Learn to talk about money.
When she was growing up, McDowell says money was not discussed in her home. “I didn’t learn anything about finances — budgeting, how a credit card works, what loans are — I didn’t have any education about it,” she says. “It was considered rude to talk about money.”
Eventually, when she was older, she sought education from friends who were good with money. She was also assertive in her dealings with financial companies. “I called the credit card companies and asked them, ‘What does this mean?'” she says.
She encourages parents to talk more openly with their children about money than her parents did. “Children know when parents are stressed out and when money is tight. While maintaining healthy boundaries, it’s important to have conversations with your children about money,” she says.
3. Always manage your money, even if your partner offers to take over.
McDowell watched her mom struggle to regain control of her finances after her father had handled all of the family’s accounts for years. “Everything should be transparent in a relationship. Because I watched my mom go through it, I will always look at my numbers, my income and outgoing finances,” she says.
4. Be patient.
Recovering from a financial downfall like the one McDowell experienced doesn’t happen overnight. With her credit destroyed and so much debt accumulated, she had to default on payments and then wait seven years to request that credit agencies remove those defaults from her credit report. “After seven years, you could clear everything one by one and rebuild credit. I got my first credit card at the lowest interest rate I could find — the one I’m still paying down slowly,” she says.
5. Define your own version of financial security.
Today, McDowell doesn’t lust after fancy jewelry or material luxuries that she experienced as a child. Instead, she wants her money in cash and to know she can afford her basic lifestyle. “I’m not planning on making any risky investments. As I get older, it’s pretty simple — I’m just a big believer in cash,” she says.
6. Embrace frugality.
McDowell says friends have told her that she exhibits the symptoms of someone who was raised during the Great Depression, because she’s afraid of spending money. “I’m very frugal and I think I always will be that way, given what happened to me. I work with a budget, I don’t have a lot of jewelry; I don’t even really care about things like that,” she says.
7. Accept responsibility.
In addition to writing, McDowell teaches creative writing to young adults who have spent time in prison, and she hopes readers of her book also get the message to take responsibility for your life. “It’s about accountability and not blaming others,” she says.”We are powerless over the cards that we’re dealt and the families we’re born into. It’s up to us to create lives that we want to live.”
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Money Lessons from a Scandal’s Victim originally appeared on usnews.com
