The lamest excuses for missing work

WASHINGTON — Kids can make some pretty lame excuses for missing school or for not having their homework. (The dog ate it? Really?) But a new survey shows that when they grow up and go to work, the excuses don’t get any less lame.

From CBS News, a CareerBuilder survey shows that people come up with some seriously sad excuses for missing work.

Here are some of the highlights:

  • I just put a casserole in the oven.
  • My plastic surgery needs some tweaking to get it just right.
  • My feet and legs fell asleep when I was sitting in the bathroom, and when I stood up I broke my ankle.
  • I was gambling at the casino all weekend and still have money left. I need to stay to win it back.
  • I’m stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store.
  • I got lucky last night and don’t know where I am this morning.
  • I put my uniform in the microwave to dry and it caught fire.
  • I accidentally got on a plane.

You’d think the excuses would get better with all the experience people have: The survey says that 28 percent of workers called in sick last year when they weren’t (although, to be fair, that’s down from 32 percent last year).

About a third of employers said they’ve checked on people who called in sick; 15 percent said they even drove past the worker’s house.

Some workers made it much easier for their bosses to bust them than that: The survey finds that nearly a quarter of employers found out a worker was lying about being sick by checking Facebook or Twitter.

More than half of bosses said they reprimanded workers who they busted. About one in five got fired.

With stakes like that, you’d better come up with a good story.

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