WASHINGTON – Some people in your life just need to be cut loose – and the sooner, the better.
Kanika Tolver, author of “Life Rehab: Don’t Overdose on Pain, People and Power,” says when you are involved in unhealthy relationships with family, friends or co-workers, you create an unhealthy, or toxic, life.
“I think you start to notice that people are toxic when you start compromising your self-worth to make other people happy,” says Tolver, who adds that some people will stay in a relationship or friendship out of politeness.
So how can you avoid toxic relationships?
Tolver says to look for the warning signs. If the person is not supportive, is always putting you down and couldn’t care less about what is happening in your life, it is time to move on.
“I think we validate ourselves up against what we think we are getting that is healthy, but it’s really unhealthy.”
Tolver says the first step is being real with yourself. If the relationship is not allowing you to grow, start to pull back and wean yourself off from it.
There may be withdrawal pains, but go forward. She says if you don’t go forward, you are back overdosing on that person and you will suffer for it.
Sometimes a break in a friendship is simply two people moving forward in their lives and going off to do other things.
“Sometimes you grow apart. Certain relationships are seasonal,” Tolver says.
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