Flowers and candy aren’t so traditional anymore for the ultimate Valentine’s Day gift. These “Wacky Gifts” should really spice up your holiday.
According to The Huffington Post, these bizarre gifts are sure to take this manufactured holiday to a new height.
Topping the list is the Anatomical Heart Pendant, a $348 accurate representation of the heart that features rubies at the end of each auricle and ventricle. The anatomical representation also comes in silver, but watch the aorta, it might tear her sweater.
Next is a vibrating duck featured in Kama Sutra Closet. This $27 waterproof duck is also known as “I Rub My Duckie Bondage,” and only requires two AA batteries. It is said to be the naughtiest Duckie yet, bound in its shiny black corset, sassy spiked collar and sporty tattoo. It includes its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs and features massagers in both its head and tail.
If you aren’t attracted to ducks, maybe the Mini Plush Microbes will do the job. These creatures include furry replications of an egg, sperm, amoeba, mononucleosis, penicillin and even STDs. They are in no competition with the average stuffed teddy bear.
Taking another step into biology, DNA Portraits have become a popular household artwork. These pieces allow for couples to swab their cheeks, choose the style and color of the portrait, and weeks later, a digitally enhanced and customized version of the DNA is sent back in a high-quality framed canvas. Fingerprint and kiss portraits also are available.
Padded bras have never been uncommon for women, but for a man, “Trunk In My Junk” is the new deception. This brand of reusable cups is priced at $11.95 and is able to fit over a man’s genitals to appear as if he’s more endowed than he actually is.
If that isn’t enough, fake tattoos for boobs are pretty popular. Also known as Tatatoos, these temporary boob tats are made to fit on the breasts and send a special message. For whomever is lucky to get close enough, messages of “Touch Down,” “Satisfaction Guaranteed” or “Ride Me” are on display. The cost for Tatatoos is $9.95.
Love letters have become extinct. SendAFlyingCard.com allows for you to send your loved one a Valentine’s message through a frisbee.
Or how about a lit up LED vodka bottle that allows you to program messages of up to 225 characters in its built-in screen? Medea Vodka costs $39.95 and can be purchased online.
For men who secretly dream about their lady becoming a stripper, a book entitled “The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You?” can teach any woman how to become an exotic dancer by helping her learn the proper way to work the pole.
Another how-to guide by Edward Jaye, “The Cookie Sutra” displays various sex positions taught by two gingerbread cookies.
Other odd gifts that made the list include the Mangroomer, a professional electric back shaver that allows for men to get the hard-to-reach areas, the “LeSchiite bag, StepNSoak boots, mustache tumblers and a prescription bottle beer holder
Cupid will not be needed this Valentine’s Day!
Alleson Knox contributed to this report. Follow WTOP on Twitter.
(Copyright 2012 by WTOP. All Rights Reserved.)
