Offbeat September: Celebrate the month’s unheralded ‘holidays’

WASHINGTON — Ah, September.

The meaningless NFL preseason is finally over, the kids are finally out of our hair, and the heat index has finally dropped below 95.

As we turn that page on the calendar, we dust off some difficult memories (9/11). We also honor our military on V-J Day (Sept. 2), POW/MIA Recognition Day (Sept. 15), American Legion Day (Sept. 16) and VFW Day (Sept. 29).

In addition, we celebrate the random — and delicious.

Did you know, for instance:

  • That Sept. 7 is National Beer Lover’s Day?
  • That Sept. 15 is Make a Hat Day?
  • Or that Sept. 9 is Teddy Bear Day?

September is full of unknown and obscure “holidays” that merit celebration, introspection and/or overingestion. Here are a few noteworthy ones.

Mark your calendars accordingly … and good luck making that hat.

9/2 International Bacon Day 
It will probably hack a good 10-15 years off your life span, but it’s delicious, so live and let live. Here’s a legitimate excuse to eat a bunch of it. Go wild: Put it on a sandwich. Put it on a salad. Put it on a cake. Put it on a pie. Heck, you don’t even have to eat it: Put some on your cat. Use some in a mixed-media art piece. Mail some to your mom. Or just make a bacon mask and wear it to work. The boss should be fine with it. (WTOP/Colleen Kelleher)

9/3 Skyscraper Day  Wherein big-city types honor those monuments to ambition and high population density. Here in D.C., of course, you can only appreciate skyscrapers that don’t top 160 feet. Fair to say that it’s a high holiday across the river in Arlington. Wherever you mark this special day, celebrate with an elevator and some binoculars. Stairs are also acceptable. (AP/Richard Vogel)

9/6 Procrastination Day (Can also be recognized on the 7th or 8th or whenever you get around to it.) Read a book day So does this mean you have to read the entire book? Unless it’s “Go, Dog. Go!” it might be hard for some of us to swing it, which is technically kosher because it’s also Procrastination Day. National Coffee Ice Cream Day This one’s pretty obvious. Just don’t get any on your book. (iStock/Thinkstock)

The Point

9/7 National Beer Lover’s Day Indulge your inner undergrad — but this time, spend the extra few dollars on some good stuff. Neither Rain Nor Snow Day   Also take a moment to honor the men and women of the Postal Service, who ensure our cards, love letters and Amazon shipments arrive in a timely fashion. National Salami Day The modest salami is comfortable with its place in life. It doesn’t mind if you slice it up thin or thick, or if you serve it on a Triscuit instead of a sandwich. Just take a moment to acknowledge its dignity, and honor all the joy it brings into this world. (Then double that joy with more beer.) (WTOP/Ginger Whitaker)

Child abuse

9/9 Teddy Bear Day So how exactly does one celebrate Teddy Bear Day? Cuddling one seems to be at the top of the list. Perhaps give it a tattoo with a permanent marker. Or take it out to lunch. It’s the bear’s call, really. National I Love Food Day You love food, too? It’s become quite trendy this year. Some people reportedly eat as many as three meals a day — consistently. Others eat even more than that. Celebrate it at Ruth’s Chris with the bear. (Getty Images/iStockphoto/eranicle)

Grandma with grandson

9/10 Grandparents Day Most parents’ parents are a chill bunch: They like naps. They bake a mean pumpkin bread. They remember your birthday. What’s not to like? Celebrate the grandparents in your life with a card, a hug or even a sweet high-five.  Swap Ideas Day Perhaps your grandparents have a better idea of how to celebrate Teddy Bear Day in a way that’s not creepy. (Thinkstock)

9/11 Make Your Bed Day This holiday is unrealistic. Research shows that beds do not obey people. Time and again, they’ve proven to be stubborn and lazy. Mine even refuses to leave the bedroom.  … Hold up. I’m told this is all about straightening the covers and tucking in the sheets and stuff.  Disregard. (AP)

Archbishop Vincenzo Paglia lifts a milkshake during a news conference to pick an official milkshake for the upcoming World Meeting of Families, Monday, March 9, 2015, at a Potbelly Sandwich Shop in Philadelphia. Paglia met with about a dozen students at the shop in downtown Philadelphia to pick the milkshake that would benefit planning efforts for September’s event. Paglia, the president of the council in charge of the event, settled on the flavor “#PopeInPhilly.”  Pope Francis will attend the closing event Sept. 26 of the world meeting. The next day he’ll celebrate an outdoor Mass.  Fifty cents from every shake sold at three locations will benefit planning for the events.  (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

9/12 Chocolate Milkshake Day Or as we coffee drinkers call it, “Overly Complicated Starbucks Order Day.” Am I right, people? National Video Games Day
Video game fun pretty much peaked with “NBA Jams,” but don’t let that stop you. Crack open a cold one and have some fun — even if that involves wasting five hours learning how to call audibles on “Madden 18.” (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

Closeup on roasted salted peanuts, wooden background, diagonal composition

9/13 National Peanut Day A few fun facts about peanuts, courtesy of the National Peanut Board: -A 12-ounce jar of peanut butter is made up of about 540 peanuts. -It takes fewer than 5 gallons of water to produce 1 ounce of peanuts (1 ounce of almonds, in contrast, requires 80 gallons). -Jefferson (not Carter) was the first peanut-farming president. (Thinkstock)

9/13 Uncle Sam Day He could be called America’s informal avatar. And this day commemorates the birthday of Uncle Sam’s inspiration: Samuel Wilson. The Troy, New York, native was instrumental in feeding soldiers during the War of 1812 — long before the 1917 chromolithograph by James Montgomery Flagg, which defined the iconic image that we now see in so many cartoons, recruitment posters, used car ads, etc. A presidential proclamation made this noteworthy day an official thing in 1989. (AP Photo, File)

Wide angle portrait of woman taking donut from fridge

9/14 National Cream-Filled Doughnut Day This day is sufficient excuse to get up early and beat those crowds to Dunkin or Krispy Kreme so you can snag a few dozen chocolate cream- filled. It’s worth the hassle. After all, they’re nature’s Twinkie. (Getty Images/iStockphoto/Artfoliophoto)

9/15 Make a Hat Day Felt Hat Day Kudos to the hat lobby for locking down this date. That said, a few questions: -Must the hat be made out of felt? -Can the hat be made of any material as long as it’s been touched (i.e. the hat has been felt)? -Wouldn’t it be easier to buy a hat (or felt hat) that was made professionally? Unfortunately, there are no easy answers here. You’re trusted to figure this out on your own. (Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP, File)

Discrimination in the workplace can take many forms. (Getty Images/iStockphoto/kieferpix)

9/22 Businesswomen’s Day First, a salute to the women who have to sit through those stupid conference-call discussions on best practices for leveraging those swim lanes. These women handle it all in robust fashion — and for salaries that are about 22 percent less than The Boys Club’s. Round of applause, please. Elephant Appreciation Day Next on today’s agenda: elephants. Did you know they’re, like, really smart? They’re so smart, in fact, that they don’t randomly sprinkle “like” into their conversations. Celebrate by visiting the National Zoo’s six Asian elephants: Ambika, Bozie, Kamala, Maharani, Shanthi and Swarna. You can even check in on them via their live web feed. (Thinkstock)

9/25 Comic Book Day Celebrate by enjoying one of the 17 comic book movies in theaters now. Or you could read an actual comic book like a grown-up. (Clay Enos/Warner Bros. Pictures via AP)

A workers scrapes the foam off of a glass of Brugse Zot beer before serving it at the Halve Maan Brewery in Bruges, Belgium on Thursday, May 26, 2016. The brewery has recently created a beer pipeline which will ship beer straight from the brewery to the bottling plant, two kilometers away, through underground pipes running between the two sources. (AP Photo/Virginia Mayo)

9/28 National Drink a Beer Day How is this different from National Beer Lover’s Day (Sept. 7)? Trick question. It isn’t. It’s another excuse to drink too many on a Thursday night. Celebrate responsibly. (AP Photo/Virginia Mayo)

9/29 National Coffee Day A few java fun facts while you’re waiting in line at Starbucks to order: -Eight ounces contain a calorie. -Espresso (NOT “expresso”) is Italian for “expressed.” -According to Good Housekeeping, New Yorkers drink seven times as much coffee as the rest of the U.S. -It won’t cure the hangover from all that beer yesterday. (Thinkstock)

9/30 National Ghost Hunting Day Wherein we celebrate the time-honored discipline practiced by Norville “Shaggy” Rogers, Sandy Duncan and the Harlem Globetrotters, among other luminaries. Celebrate by raiding the fridge and making a 5-foot-tall sandwich with your Great Dane. (Bud Light via AP)
(1/25)
The Point
Child abuse
Grandma with grandson
Archbishop Vincenzo Paglia lifts a milkshake during a news conference to pick an official milkshake for the upcoming World Meeting of Families, Monday, March 9, 2015, at a Potbelly Sandwich Shop in Philadelphia. Paglia met with about a dozen students at the shop in downtown Philadelphia to pick the milkshake that would benefit planning efforts for September’s event. Paglia, the president of the council in charge of the event, settled on the flavor “#PopeInPhilly.”  Pope Francis will attend the closing event Sept. 26 of the world meeting. The next day he’ll celebrate an outdoor Mass.  Fifty cents from every shake sold at three locations will benefit planning for the events.  (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)
Closeup on roasted salted peanuts, wooden background, diagonal composition
Wide angle portrait of woman taking donut from fridge
Discrimination in the workplace can take many forms. (Getty Images/iStockphoto/kieferpix)
A workers scrapes the foam off of a glass of Brugse Zot beer before serving it at the Halve Maan Brewery in Bruges, Belgium on Thursday, May 26, 2016. The brewery has recently created a beer pipeline which will ship beer straight from the brewery to the bottling plant, two kilometers away, through underground pipes running between the two sources. (AP Photo/Virginia Mayo)

Jack Pointer

Jack contributes to WTOP.com when he's not working as the afternoon/evening radio writer.

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