Take charge or tacky? Brides have their hands out

How much is too much to ask of guests? Brides are becoming creative in keeping their wedding costs down. (Thinkstock)
What's the tackiest thing to ask your guest?

Randi Martin | November 15, 2014 5:39 pm

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WASHINGTON — From getting wedding sponsors to getting guests to pay for dinner, modern brides are becoming creative in keeping their wedding costs down.

New trends that involve technology bother etiquette expert Lizzie Post. “Sending wedding invitations out through email utilizes technology but I wouldn’t say it’s the best way to utilize it,” she says.

Post, the great-great-granddaughter of manners maven Emily Post, thinks weddings are a formal event that warrant a formal invitation.

Many brides also choose to ask guests for money in lieu of wedding gifts.

“It’s totally appropriate,” says Post. “But it has to be done delicately.” She states you should never put it on your registry information or the invitation itself. As friends and family call and ask the host or hostess what the couple would like, that is the best time to say money.

Some couples ask guests to contribute to their honeymoon.

“‘Honey Funds’ are very common nowadays,” she says adding as a good way for friends and family to contribute.

What about getting wedding sponsors? The cake maker, the caterer or the dress shop? For extra publicity, these providers may cut the bride a deal as long as their logo gets out is posted on your wedding website, place cards and invitations.

“That’s tacky and inappropriate.” says Post, who is also the co-author of “Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, 6th Edition.” But it worked for Kim Kardashian.

“That was a production, that was not a traditional wedding,” she says regarding Kardashian’s past nuptials.

How about other advice? Cash bars, she says, are not appropriate and never will be and do not ask your guests to pay for parking or pay for dinner.

Post says with the exception of a destination wedding, “You should never be asking your guests to be paying for anything at your wedding.”

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