The downside of cheap sunglasses is that they are (as long as they last) always a little crooked. The tilt doesn’t impair my vision, but it is noticeable in pictures — or when people look at me.
I’ve learned to cock my head slightly, which makes me look a tad dashing and a bit of a bad boy. It also seems to correct the tilt.
I’ve always wondered about the lopsidedness. Maybe it wouldn’t happen with Ray Bans, but given my habit of losing, dropping or sitting on them (one pair was dented by a goat, but that’s a story for another time), it doesn’t seem prudent to spend a lot of money for shades.
But just when I had given up looking Cruise-esque, I found out the reason for the “tilt” when accompanying a friend who was buying real glasses from a real opthomologist. I think they cost her around $350 because they were prescription. They fit like a glove. Or better yet, like sunglasses are supposed to fit, as mine never have.
The doctor gave me a free exam while we were there. He said my vision is very good (I could have done without the “for-a-man-of-your-age” part, but whatever) and that I could get by using the weakest grade reading glasses available at any drug store or market. He said my long-range vision was very, very good.
That was the first bit of good news.
But the best news? There is nothing wrong with the $14.95 glasses I have been buying. The problem, he said, is with my head. Not what’s in my head, but the actual head itself.
It turns out my head is slightly lopsided.
So now I know. I could buy the finest sun glasses made and they will always be off because by head, like the Planet Earth, is slightly off center.
Unless you’ve had the same problem, you cannot imagine my relief.
The glasses I’ve spent so much money on are fine (except in the sun). There is nothing wrong with them … it’s my head that’s the problem.
I feel so much better. It’s like a 200-pound sack of cement has been lifted from my shoulders. Life is good.
I told you I was easy.
Mike has spent the majority of his life inside the Beltway and has an interesting and humorous perspective that he will share every Wednesday. Mike has spent his career covering the federal government for the Washington Post and now for Federal News Radio.