Financial infidelity occurs when one partner hides or lies about money to the other person. (Remember, a lie of omission is still a lie!) This could involve, for example, a secret credit card account or a personal debt that was never disclosed.
U.S. News & World Report surveyed 1,200 victims of financial infidelity in February 2025 and found that 39% of respondents were between the ages of 18 and 25 when the infidelity occurred, and almost half were married at the time.
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Types of Financial Infidelity
When asked the top kind of financial infidelity they experienced, respondents say:
— My partner hid debts and/or accounts from me: 36.8%
— My partner kept purchases secret: 14.3%
— My partner lied about their income or employment: 13.8%
— My partner made multiple impulse purchases: 12.3%
— My partner drained money from savings: 8.2%
— My partner lent out money without my consent: 7.7%
— My partner applied for credit cards or lines of credit without my consent: 5.3%
— Other: 1.8%
Concerning impulse purchases, over half say the impulse purchases started small before they grew into a bigger problem, while 33% say the impulse purchases were always large.
In U.S. News’ January 2023 survey, “making secret purchases” was the most common type of financial infidelity for 55% of respondents.
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Signs of Financial Infidelity
When asked how they found out about their partner’s financial infidelity, respondents say they:
— Discovered a statement or collection for unknown account: 33.5%
— Realized account balances were off: 29.5%
— My partner confessed: 28.7%
— Noticed a large purchase: 20.5%
— Found unexpected packages: 19.2%
— Observed secrecy with electronic devices: 17.2%
— Tipped off by a third party: 12.8%
— Something else: 2.3%
But when asked if they noticed any signs or red flags before they received confirmation of the infidelity, the responses vary.
“In hindsight, the red flags were there: unusual spending, secrecy and avoiding money talks. It all made sense once I got confirmation.”
-Survey Respondent
Another respondent says, “I noticed that my girlfriend was acting strangely distant, which was unlike her. She was usually quite bubbly and talkative, but she turned quiet, suspicious and weird.”
However, an overwhelming number of respondents say they didn’t notice any signs of financial infidelity until it was too late. “I was totally and completely shocked and devastated,” one respondent says.
Confronting the Issue
When asked if they confronted their partner about the financial infidelity, nearly all say yes — about 88%. When asked what happened as a result of that confrontation, almost 40% say — probably unsurprisingly — that it resulted in an argument. Another 35% say their partner attempted to defend their actions, and 17% were able to have a calm discussion.
When asked what their partners had to say about why they committed financial infidelity, respondents say:
— To feel more in control financially: 25.8%
— Embarrassment about mishandling money: 23.4%
— To avoid an argument: 18.6%
— To help someone else: 11%
— To avoid the stress of living paycheck to paycheck: 8.9%
— To avoid sharing bad news: 5.5%
— Other: 6.8%
In 2023, respondents said the most common reason given for the financial infidelity was to avoid an argument (27%).
When asked if they used any debt solutions in an attempt to resolve the issue, respondents say they:
— Set a budget and paid the debt back: 35.3%
— Took out a debt consolidation loan: 17.7%
— Opened a balance transfer credit card: 16.1%
— Worked with a credit counselor: 14.8%
— Worked with a debt settlement company: 12.2%
— Declared bankruptcy: 5.5%
— Did none of the above: 35%
A combined 57% say their problems were mostly or partly tied to money and that getting out of debt would have improved their relationship with their partner.
Financial Infidelity Is Just as Upsetting as Other Kinds of Infidelity
Almost half of respondents say their partner was unfaithful in other ways when the financial infidelity occurred — either emotionally or physically.
And a combined 64% say financial infidelity was just as upsetting or more so than romantic infidelity.
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What Victims of Financial Infidelity Can Do
A large number of respondents (40%) say they separated or are in the process of separating from their partner due to the financial infidelity. Many experienced long-term effects of the infidelity as well:
— My credit score took a hit: 27.6%
— I am now in or have more credit card debt: 25.3%
— I had to borrow money from family: 23%
— I had to put off my financial goals, like retirement or buying a house: 19%
— Other: 3.7%
— I haven’t experienced any long-term effects: 29.7%
When asked what they would say to other victims of financial infidelity, many respondents have wise and comforting words to share. One respondent encourages couples to “talk often and tell your true feelings. Don’t dismiss the problem, because it will only get worse.” Another cautioned to “be aware of what’s going on in your financial life. Know what money is coming in and where it’s going — and don’t take their word for it.”
Another respondent says she learned to “never comingle my money with my (new) husband. My accounts are only in my name, and he is named as the beneficiary. He cannot access my accounts.”
A final piece of advice by one respondent summed up the whole experience. “The most important thing after experiencing financial infidelity is to take care of yourself. Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family or a therapist. Remember, you’re not alone in this situation. Focus on emotional and financial recovery. Slowly but surely, you’ll be able to bounce back.”
More from U.S. News
Survey: Nearly a Third Have Experienced Financial Infidelity
How to Make a Budget and Stick to It
Snowballs, Avalanches and Other Wintry Ways to Chill Your Credit Card Debt
Survey: Financial Infidelity Most Common Among Younger Generation originally appeared on usnews.com
