What if I said the wrong thing? How will I ever finish the assignment in time? Why aren’t they responding to my text?
Thoughts like these make us human, says Julie Pike, a clinical psychologist in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. “That’s what the brain is designed to do — to think our way out of problems and away from predators,” she explains.
Sometimes, though, those thoughts can spin out beyond our control, leading us to play out different scenarios and often catastrophize, adds Sophie Lazarus, a psychologist at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center and a clinical assistant professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral health at the Ohio State University College of Medicine in Columbus.
“As strange as it sounds, in the short term, this overthinking can give us a false sense of relief or the illusion of control,” she explains. “However, in the long term, this habit can have real costs to our well-being and engagement in our lives.”
[READ: What Is High-Functioning Anxiety?]
Why We Overthink
If you overthink things sometimes, rest assured, you’re not alone.
“Worrying and overthinking is part of the human experience,” says Jeri Coast, a San Diego-based licensed clinical social worker and director of clinical operations at Lightfully Behavioral Health. “Anxiety is the body’s normal reaction to stress when presented with potential danger or anticipating a future threat.”
What’s tricky about anxiety is finding that balance between too much and too little — some anxiety can be normal and healthy, but a lot can be debilitating.
“(For example,) when overthinking results in developing a plan or a strategy to solve a problem, it’s productive,” explains Cheryl Carmin, a psychologist at the OSU Wexner Medical Center and clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral health at the OSU College of Medicine. “On the other hand, if you’re focusing on an issue and your mental energy is spent on spinning your wheels, you’re overthinking the problem and, ultimately, it’s unproductive.”
If you feel like you’re overthinking everything, try these 17 expert-approved tactics to stop your unproductive thoughts in their tracks:
— Catch yourself.
— Look for patterns.
— Use anxiety as a learning tool.
— Observe rather than chastise.
— Recognize thought traps.
— Set a deadline.
— Practice mindfulness.
— Turn to tunes.
— Exercise.
— Challenge the thought repeatedly.
— Shock your senses.
— Limit exposure to anxiety-inducing media.
— Give up perfectionism.
— Focus on the now.
— Reframe a worry as an opportunity.
— Learn what to avoid.
— Find support.
[SEE: What to Know About Anxiety Medications.]
Catch yourself
You can’t stop overthinking if you don’t realize you’re doing it — and very often, people don’t, says Pike, who specializes in treating anxiety disorders.
“You’ve been thinking about what he said or what your boss did, or you’re having an imaginary conversation, and you’ve been thinking about it for 15 minutes before you even notice,” she says.
But if you can learn to recognize the physical sensations and anxiety symptoms that come with stress — which may manifest as tension in your back or a pit in your stomach — then you can work on halting the mental causes behind them.
“Make a commitment to use a tool to help your brain step back,” Pike advises. Examples might include pausing to write down what you’re thinking, or tapping over to a calming app on your phone to become grounded in the moment.
Lazarus adds, “Try doing something soothing or productive — take a shower, go for a walk or talk to a friend.”
Relaxation exercises, such as diaphragmatic breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, “can also be helpful in calming down the body and mind,” she says.
[READ: The Best Essential Oils for Anxiety and Depression.]
Look for patterns
Because most of us are busy during the day, we simply can’t overthink in the moment, says Nicole A. Hollingshead, a clinical psychologist at the OSU Wexner Medical Center and a clinical assistant professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral health at the OSU College of Medicine. A common time to stress out, though, is later on, after things have calmed down.
“If you can notice a pattern or time of day when you overthink, that helps you to create strategies for how to change this cognitive habit,” she adds.
The content of your worries might also conform to patterns that can help you combat it, she notes. For example, if you find that you’re frequently worrying about work, “acknowledge that this is a common theme of your worry,” she explains.
You can then begin working on ways to change your thought pattern and see if you can prepare for the thing you are worried about. For instance, if you’re concerned about not keeping up at work, you can develop strategies to maintain focus or recruit coworkers to help keep you on track.
Use anxiety as a learning tool
When it comes to anxiety at work in particular, Morra Aarons-Mele, the Boston-based host of the LinkedIn Presents podcast, “The Anxious Achiever,” and author of “The Anxious Achiever: Turn Your Biggest Fears Into Your Leadership Superpower,” says that you can actually leverage your anxiety to improve performance.
As mentioned, anxiety exists on a spectrum — from crippling but treatable clinical anxiety to motivating “good anxiety,” such as the nerves you might feel before giving a presentation. In that murky middle ground between the two extremes, Aarons-Mele notes, lies the potential for learning.
“When you learn to manage your anxiety and listen to it, you gain huge self-awareness and the ability to be a better, more thoughtful leader,” she says.
To do this, Aarons-Mele adds, you need to take the anxiety seriously. She recommends talking with a therapist to help you observe and process when and how anxiety shows up at work. You can also learn strategies for leveraging your anxiety to make you perform your best.
Observe rather than chastise
When you do notice that you’re overthinking, recognize it, but be gentle with yourself. If you’re having an anxiety attack, try to see that what you’re experiencing is just thoughts. For instance, turn “I’m a bad parent” into “I notice I’m thinking I’m a bad parent.”
This mental reframing adds a layer of distance between your identity and your thoughts, thus separating them and clarifying them as beliefs that can be changed.
Hollingshead also encourages thinking about the likelihood of the worry actually coming to fruition.
“If the odds are low based on your personal history, then you can remind yourself that worrying about something that has low odds of being true will interfere with your ability to perform well and is simply not true,” she explains.
Recognize thought traps
Aarons-Mele notes that getting stuck in thought traps, such as feeling like an imposter, can be problematic.
Instead of catastrophizing — “I’m going to lose my job and never earn another dollar in my life” — Aarons-Mele says you should recognize it for what it is and use simple techniques to neutralize it.
For example, if you get a letter from the IRS, take a breath before you open it, rather than simply assume you’re going to be audited. Read it a few times, then set it aside. Ask your partner or a trusted friend to also read it before allowing yourself to react or respond.
“The most important thing to do when you’re triggered by anxiety around money is nothing,” Aarons-Mele says. “When we’re anxious a lot, often we become impulsive and want to fix it right away. But that’s not always the best thing to do. We need to get advice. We need to breathe.”
Set a deadline
Overthinking is like a book with no periods, paragraphs or chapters — it doesn’t know when to stop, says Linda Sapadin, a clinical psychologist in Long Island, New York, and author of the book “Overcoming Your Procrastination: Advice for 6 Personality Styles.” It’s up to you to set those boundaries.
To do so, tell yourself, ideally out loud, “just another 10 minutes,” with the nurturing, not punishing tone of a parent, Sapadin suggests.
Hollingshead recommends an even shorter set time for worrying — two minutes — and setting a timer. For that designated period, focus on what you’re worried about and really identify the issue. When the timer goes off, ask yourself three questions:
— Have I made any progress toward solving this problem?
— Do I understand something about the problem or my feelings about the problem that I did not understand before? Have I gained a greater perspective or understanding of the issue?
— Do I feel less self-critical or less upset than before I started thinking about this issue? How does worrying about this make me feel?
If you can’t generate solutions to the problem or gain a better understanding, then worrying about it is probably unproductive and unhelpful.
“Label it as such, and then either choose to actively continue to worry or choose to do something that makes you feel good,” Hollingshead says.
However you decide to limit your worry time, it’s important that you do. If you let the ruminating go on, you’re only making it easier for your brain to return to that dark place later, Pike points out.
“Ruminating (rewires) the same neural pathways over and over again,” she explains. “We’re creating deeper grooves in the record we’ve already played.”
Practice mindfulness
One of the most effective ways of combating anxiety is to practice mindfulness — being present in the moment and noting what you’re feeling, says Dr. James S. Pratty, medical director at Azimuth Mental Health Associates in Torrance, California.
“This is an incredibly powerful technique that needs to be done two times per day, lasting about 10 minutes (each time),” he explains.
Pratty, who also serves as assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California Riverside School of Medicine, suggests breaking mindfulness sessions into two main phases.
“The first part of the mindfulness exercise is the use of meditative reading,” he says. He recommends poetry, song lyrics or religious texts.
The second five minutes should include breathing exercises. Take a deep breath in through the nose, and then let it out slowly through the mouth.
“Mindfulness allows you to take a break from the problem and then more efficiently think through options to deal with the issues that are causing stress and anxiety,” he explains.
Turn to tunes
Listening to a song you like is one of the best ways to move your mind along, Sapadin says.
“Music taps a different part of the brain,” she explains. “It’s almost like the part of the brain that’s overthinking can’t do that if you’re really into the music and your body is swaying to the music.”
Although sad or anxious musical choices can be validating, they can also reinforce your negative emotion. Instead, choose songs that are in opposition to what you’re experiencing to help shift your emotional framework. The goal should be to shake things up and get you out of a negative emotional stew.
Exercise
Dr. Matt Angelelli, chief of psychiatry at Orlando Health in Florida, says that exercise is a critically important means of managing anxiety and worry.
“The very first thing I would encourage for somebody who’s not doing well with worry and rumination is to exercise,” he says. “It’s one of the best medicines for everything in mental health, especially depression and anxiety.”
The exercise doesn’t necessarily have to be strenuous or lengthy, either. Yoga and stretching, for instance, can help you clear your mind and settle your racing thoughts. Exercising outside is even better.
Reconnecting with nature and getting some fresh air and sunshine can do wonders for easing anxiety and boosting your mood, adds Dr. Michael Brodsky, medical director for behavioral health and social services for L.A. Care Health Plan in Los Angeles.
“Spending 20 minutes a day in natural surroundings has been shown to foster a sense of well-being,” he explains.
Angelelli recommends taking a stroll with someone you like being around to get social interaction, fresh air and exercise all at the same time. “Going for walks is highly therapeutic,” he says. “If you go for a walk with someone, you can talk it out.”
Challenge the thought repeatedly
Facing a fear head-on can also help. If you’re afraid of, say, elevators, a psychologist may encourage you to approach, enter and eventually ride them until they’re no longer threatening. You can do the same thing with a thought, Pike says.
“Boil the essence of the thought down to 10 words or less, and repeat that thought over and over again until you get bored,” she recommends.
Repeating “I bombed the job interview” is better than saying, “I said the wrong thing. The other applicants are better. My references were poor,” Pike adds.
That’s because your brain treats each new thought as an independent threat. Consolidating and repeating the worries allows your brain to check that box as nonthreatening and move on.
Shock your senses
If being in your head doesn’t feel good, be in your body. Try stimulating your senses — smell some lavender oil, do pushups, bite into a lemon or even dunk your hand in a bucket of ice.
“It flips your brain into, ‘What’s this? That’s very cold,'” Pike says.
Limit media exposure
Whether it’s social media, television or radio news or even just gossip from coworkers, unhelpful chatter can get in your head and ratchet up your overall anxiety level, often about things you have no control over.
Angelelli says it’s important to look at everyday triggers that worsen your anxiety, such as watching a lot of cable news. It doesn’t matter which side you support; all media has been designed to hold your attention by making you engaged, emotionally charged and anxious.
“I would encourage people to pick a newspaper and read that instead of watching things in the news,” Angelelli says. “When you’re reading, you can see the slant and you get to decide how much you’re taking in about what’s being said.”
Brodsky also recommends limiting social media use to once per day, “and be thoughtful about your sources. Facebook and Twitter are not exactly known for accuracy.”
Give up perfectionism
Overthinking and perfectionism go hand in hand, Sapadin says. Ruminating about a creative endeavor — such as writing a chapter or completing a painting — is more common than spiraling thoughts about practical matters like where you put the keys.
“You need to appreciate that crafting a perfect product or being perfect isn’t possible — that’s a recipe for creating anxiety, and it’s just not fair to yourself,” she says.
Instead of beating yourself up for imperfections or avoiding projects you’re afraid won’t be perfect, come up with new ideas, make mistakes, regret them and move on, Sapadin advises.
Focus on the now
Brodsky says that while we often don’t have control over circumstances, we do have control over how we spend our time.
It’s important to recognize that you do yourself “no favors by ruminating on what happens in the past — memories — or what might happen in the future — fantasies,” he explains. “By focusing on the present moment, we avoid missing out on the daily experiences of life.”
Reframe a worry as an opportunity
Reframing anxiety as excitement can help you push through any overwhelming or paralyzing thoughts to get to the task at hand, says Dr. Reena Trivedi, a psychiatrist at El Camino Health’s Scrivner Center for Mental Health and Addiction Services in Mountain View, California.
“If you need to clean your garage, instead of giving yourself the negative message that you dread cleaning it, tell yourself, ‘I’m excited to clean my garage,'” she explains. “This reframed message helps change the way that your brain approaches the task.”
Learn what to avoid
Pratty recommends avoiding alcohol and other substances when you’re feeling anxious because they can mask what you’re feeling and actually lead to a bigger problem down the line.
Trivedi agrees, noting that unchecked anxiety can “affect your physical health and lead to risky behaviors, such as excessive alcohol consumption (and) recreational drug use, and can even be a risk factor for suicide.”
Ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away also is not the best approach, Pratty adds. Instead, address the issue as soon as you can to prevent it from snowballing into something worse.
Find support
Not every worrisome moment is an anxiety attack or a sign of an anxiety disorder. But if you’re so consumed with or distressed by unproductive thought patterns that your daily life and happiness are disrupted, it’s probably time to seek help.
“Breaking old habits can be hard, and having the help of a professional can support you in gaining the awareness and skills to manage your anxiety,” Lazarus says.
Consider talking to a mental health professional who specializes in anxiety disorders, such as generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder. Self-help books, meditation apps and online cognitive behavioral therapy programs can also teach you long-term strategies for managing anxiety. Some individuals may benefit from taking anxiety medication to manage their symptoms.
Angelelli says that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, a class of widely used antidepressant medications, can be helpful in easing anxiety disorders. While it’s not entirely clear exactly how they work, SSRIs change the balance of serotonin — that’s the feel-good chemical — in the brain.
“People who have high levels of serotonin have a high sense of well-being,” Angelelli explains.
Brodsky adds that “there’s never a wrong time to talk with a mental health specialist.” If you’re in crisis, get help immediately by contacting the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also access more information and mental health resources from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
Beyond seeking professional help, simply reaching out to friends and family for support can help ease anxiety and overthinking, Angelelli says. Sometimes, a supportive friend can help you put worries back into their appropriate perspective.
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What Are the Best Ways to Stop Overthinking and Reduce Anxiety? originally appeared on usnews.com
Update 05/17/23: This story was previously published at an earlier date and has been updated with new information.
