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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 9/1/2014, 5:33am  ET

February 3, 2014

A) Two Florida men who led police on a wild CANOE CHASE. Police went after the men after they failed to appear in court for burglary charges. They managed to elude police for 5 hours but were eventually overpowered, by a police powerboat.

B) Another Florida man who insisted on smoking one last joint before police arrested him for operating a grow house. Officers say when they arrived at his house the man barricaded himself inside so he could light up once more.

C) The person who mailed nine pounds of marijuana to the wrong person. To make matters worse, the D.C. woman who got the package, is a former postal worker. She contacted police about the package. One of her neighbors was arrested in connection with the crime.

Winner: C

January 27, 2014

A) A Pennsylvania Man who posted his "wanted" picture ON FACEBOOK! The man, who had been avoiding the police since November, shared the picture as a joke. Police arrested him 45 MINUTES later. He's scheduled to appear in court this week.

B) A Colorado man on the run from police who tried to escape through the roof of the building he was being chased through and fell through the ceiling. He wised up, turned himself in and faces felony charges.

C) A Alabama man who robbed a delivery guy delivering pizzas to HIS HOUSE! Police say he stole cash and pizza from the driver. They found him...surprise the same address.

Winner: A

January 20, 2014

A) A Chicago man who tried to rob a bar only to be stopped by the DOOR. Police say he broke the lock off the door and tried to pull it open for SEVEN minutes...turns out all it needed was a PUSH. The frustrated burglar left without ever making it inside.

B) A trio of Massachusetts car thieves who tried to steal a food delivery man's car only to realize none of them could drive a stick shift. Police say the men gave the keys back and took off on foot.

C) A Tampa man who stole a TV from Target and made his get-away on a SKATE BOARD. Police say he skated through Target, picked out a TV with the help of a sales associate and made his exit. He was last seen zipping eastbound on the major highway.

Winner: A

January 13, 2014

A) A DC firefighter who was arrested for driving an ambulance on a suspended license. The man was charged with a DUI last year and wasn't supposed to be driving. The cop that arrested him last year saw him driving the ambulance and arrested him again for driving on a suspended license.

B) A Pennsylvania man who stole hand sanitizer so he could make alcoholic beverages. The 51-year-old stole 12 bottles from a hospital so he could mix it with orange juice and get a buzz. The hospital wants him to pay 80 bucks for the hand sanitizer.

C) A Oregon pimp who is suing Nike for not warning him their shoes could be used as a deadly weapon. The 26-year-old stomped a client with his sneakers, and is blaming Nike for not having a warning label that they could almost kill someone. He's serving 100 years for beating the guy -- and one of his prostitutes.

Winner: C

January 6, 2014

A) An Australian man who got stuck inside his washer while playing naked hide and seek. The 20-year-old had to be freed by rescue workers who used olive oil to slide him out.

B) An Iowa man who pulled a knife on his brother during a fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Police say he was angry because he believed his brother was eating too many sandwiches, so he attacked his brother.

C) A Virginia firefighter who stole a fire truck. The 27-year-old took the truck on a joyride -- and then wrecked it in Chesterfield. Police found the truck in a ditch and the firefighter is charged with grand larceny.

Winner: A

December 30, 2013

A) A South Carolina woman was so mad after her husband came home without a case of beer that she stabbed him with a ceramic squirrel. Police say a man came home beer-less because it was Christmas Eve and liquor stores were closed. The wife was charged with domestic violence.

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