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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/21/2014, 5:35am  ET

C) A New Hampshire man who tried to spread holiday cheer but ended up SCARING children. The man dressed up as Santa and went over to a local school unannounced. He ran around, tapping on windows, and waving at students. Teachers decided to keep kids INSIDE for recess that day. But he said he didn't mean to scare anyone and police believed him.

Winner: B

December 16, 2013

A) A man who hid his pot as Christmas presents. During a traffic stop, Pennsylvania State Police say they found 20 pounds of marijuana wrapped as gifts inside his minivan. He's facing felony drug charges.

B) A New Mexico man who tried to dine and dash at a police fundraiser. The 22- year-old was bailing on his $30 bill but cops were waiting tables that night to raise money for charity. Needless to say, he got caught.

C) A Missouri woman who called the cops after a drug dealer sold her sugar instead of crack. The 47-year-old asked cops to get her a refund and arrest the dealer for theft. But they ended up arresting her for possession of drug paraphernalia.

Winner: C

December 2, 2013

A) A Colorado woman who was offering topless haircuts, but not for the reason you think. She was arrested for cutting hair without a license. The 46-year-old allegedly advertised the 45 dollar haircuts online.

B) A Florida man who robbed a bank, and then tried to get away on the bus. The 50-year-old took money from the bank, then went to a nearby gas station to change before waiting for a public bus. All the money was recovered.

C) A Washington man tried to make his way to West Seattle by stealing a ferry boat. The man allegedly locked himself in the pilot's cabin, but couldn't get the boat started. Police arrested him for grand theft of a vehicle.

Winner: C

November 25, 2013

A) A tiny town in Utah that forgot to hold its city elections. Part-time officials in Wallsburg didn't advertise or prepare for elections. This is the second time its happened. They also missed their election two years ago.

B) Colorado's healthcare exchange, which signed up Baxter the Yorkie for healthcare. Baxter's owner, Shane Smith, called to get insurance after his policy got canceled. When the insurance papers showed up, Smith found out it was his 14- year-old dog that now had healthcare, not him. The state fixed it, and Baxter no longer has human healthcare.

C) An Illinois teen who couldn't afford her bus fare, so she maced the bus driver. The 17-year-old allegedly sprayed the driver after she couldn't pay for the ride. The driver later id-ed her, and she's being charged with aggravated battery.

Winner: C

November 18, 2013

A) A robot hunter from Florida. The man MEANT to kill a deer, but he was fooled by a police decoy and shot a robo-deer instead. Police emerged from nearby hiding spots and arrested him for shooting during closed season.

B) Another Florida man who impersonated a police officer in hopes of getting discounted donuts. The man flashed a gun and a badge at the Dunkin Donuts, telling the clerk "See? I am a cop!" Then the real deal came by and arrested him.

C) Yet another Florida man who got stuck in a chimney during an attempted robbery. Detectives say they saw a single foot hanging from the fireplace when they arrived. After two hours police got the rest of him down and charged him with burglary.

Winner: B

November 11, 2013

A) Toronto Mayor Rob Ford addressed the media last week, admitting to smoking crack. It's one of several scandals that has plagued his 3 year tenure. Ford refuses to resign and says he will run for reelection.

B) A Dallas man who ate a debit card to cover up evidence in an identity theft and income tax fraud investigation. When police arrested the man he had 300-thousand- dollars in cash as well as debit cards, including at least one that he tried to eat.

C) A woman who tried to wear a cheeseburger as a sandal after being caught having sex in the parking lot of a Georgia Waffle House. Officers say the couple was drunk and the woman's attempt to wear the sandwich just helped prove it.

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