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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/14/2014, 9:41am  ET

B) A Texas teacher who decided to have some booze while she was at work. Students in her class told the principal the woman smelled like alcohol and they had PICTURES of the bottle. The teacher eventually resigned.

C) An Iowa man who used a forklift at work to get a candy bar from the vending machine. The 27-year-old's Twix got stuck on a hook so he found a forklift to shake it free. He got three candy bars, but was fired a few days later.

Winner: C


February 17, 2014

A) A Pennsylvania woman who smuggled drugs to her jailbird boyfriend with a kiss. The woman had hidden the drugs in her mouth before she went to the jail and slid them to the man when they smooched. The cops later found them in his poop.

B) Two Delaware men who stole cigarettes from a gas station then trekked home through the freshly fallen snow. The men broke into a gas station Friday morning after the snow storm and stole 14 grand worth of cigarettes and tobacco products. Police followed their footprints in the snow where they arrested the pair.

C) A South Carolina woman who was arrested for a VHS tape she didn't return to a video store a decade ago. The 27-year-old rented Jennifer Lopez's "Monster-in- Law" in 2005, and the owner of the now-defunct video store filed a lawsuit when she didn't return it. She's being charged with failure to return a video or cassette.

Winner: B


February 10, 2014

A) A man who used to portray McGruff the Crime dog for getting caught with over 1,000 pot plants. Police say a Houston man who used to tell kids they could take a bite out of crime also had a bunch of weapons in his house including a grenade launcher. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 16 years in prison.

B) A New Mexico couple who stole an ambulance with an EMT still inside. The man and woman took the emergency vehicle from in front of a hospital while the employee was sleeping in the back. They were arrested.

C) A Minnesota burglar who was scared off by a singing fish. The thief broke into a fishing shop where the motion activated fish was hanging on the wall and got spooked when it started singing "Take Me To The River." Nothing was taken from the shop.

Winner: C


February 3, 2014

A) Two Florida men who led police on a wild CANOE CHASE. Police went after the men after they failed to appear in court for burglary charges. They managed to elude police for 5 hours but were eventually overpowered, by a police powerboat.

B) Another Florida man who insisted on smoking one last joint before police arrested him for operating a grow house. Officers say when they arrived at his house the man barricaded himself inside so he could light up once more.

C) The person who mailed nine pounds of marijuana to the wrong person. To make matters worse, the D.C. woman who got the package, is a former postal worker. She contacted police about the package. One of her neighbors was arrested in connection with the crime.

Winner: C


January 27, 2014

A) A Pennsylvania Man who posted his "wanted" picture ON FACEBOOK! The man, who had been avoiding the police since November, shared the picture as a joke. Police arrested him 45 MINUTES later. He's scheduled to appear in court this week.

B) A Colorado man on the run from police who tried to escape through the roof of the building he was being chased through and fell through the ceiling. He wised up, turned himself in and faces felony charges.

C) A Alabama man who robbed a delivery guy delivering pizzas to HIS HOUSE! Police say he stole cash and pizza from the driver. They found him...surprise surprise...at the same address.

Winner: A


January 20, 2014

A) A Chicago man who tried to rob a bar only to be stopped by the DOOR. Police say he broke the lock off the door and tried to pull it open for SEVEN minutes...turns out all it needed was a PUSH. The frustrated burglar left without ever making it inside.

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