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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 8/18/2014, 9:34am  ET

Winner: C

August 27, 2012

A) A Florida man stole a 32-inch television from Walmart and then took off on his bicycle. When the man turned to look at the cops chasing him, he slammed his bike into a police cruiser. He's ok but was arrested for theft.

B) Two New York men thought it would be easy to rob a store disguised as police officers -- fake masks, badges, and all. They might have made a clean getaway but they were caught after sending a polite thank-you note to the company that made their masks.

C) A Florida man called 911 for a very personal reason. Police say the 32-year- old wanted a female deputy to come to his house to "hook up." He called seven times in two days. Now he's in jail.

Winner: B

August 20, 2012

A) How do you walk out of a store with a stolen 42 inch TV? Well, this knucklehead thought hiding it under her skirt would do the job, and it almost worked. The Romanian woman made it to a nearby bus stop before police finally made the arrest. Her accomplice said she had "very strong thigh muscles."

B) Talk about making yourself at home. This 22-year-old Maryland man broke into a Salisbury home, stripped down to his underwear, and decided to cook chicken pot pie. When officers arrived, he was sitting in a living room chair watching TV.

C) Stealing sausage? Well, why not stuff it down your pants? A 35-year-old Pennsylvania man was caught shoplifting after police say he was trying to stuff a $6 sausage down his pants at a State College grocery store.

Winner: A

August 13, 2012

A) A British man almost burned down his apartment when he tried to dry his wet socks and underwear in a microwave oven. He damaged the appliance and ruined his knickers.

B) A Florida woman tried to surprise her boyfriend by driving his truck topless. But her plan was quickly foiled when the cops caught her speeding down the street. When she tried to flee, she crashed the F-250 into an oak tree. She's fine but was arrested and released on bond.

C) Drunk driving on a lawn mower is never a good idea. A police officer spotted a Florida man riding his lawn mower on the street in the wrong lane. The guy's eyes were bloodshot, he smelled of alcohol, and a cold beer was sitting in the cup holder. Apparently he was on his way back from buying an 18-pack pf beer. He only had four beers left.

Winner: C

August 6, 2012

A) A University of Virginia law student was worried he wouldn't get a prestigious internship because of his low GPA, so he put a hidden camera in the administration office and broke in to steal his transcript. But he was caught by that very camera he used to scout out the office. He was charged with unarmed robbery.

B) A Vermont man was angry about a recent arrest after getting caught with pot. So he decided to drive a farm tractor over seven police cruisers -- right in the Sheriff's Office parking lot! No one was hurt and the man now faces 14 charges.

C) A Pittsburgh man is in hot water after getting caught stealing a potato peeler, a kitchen knife, and a small dog from a home. A woman called 911 after hearing the man taking the utensils out of her dishwasher in the middle of the night. Then she said he grabbed her dog and left. The police found him sitting shirtless on a couch at his friend's apartment.

Winner: A

July 30, 2012

A) An 18-year-old woman offered a cop $15 to get her fake ID back. She was pulled over by police in Florida, refused sobriety tests, and was place under arrest for DUI, but not before she pleaded get her fake ID back because it would take her months to get money to buy a new one.

B) Ever have that feeling where you just don't want to leave? How about not wanting to leave jail? A 37-year-old North Carolina man was released from prison, but refused to leave because the police would not give him a ride to a motel. He was then charged with second-degree trespassing for refusing to go away!

C) A man tried to pay at an Arizona thrift store with counterfeit bills that had the wrong person on printed on them. The $100 bills had an image of Abraham Lincoln instead of Benjamin Franklin. He tried to fool two businesses but when it didn't work, he ran away.

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