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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/14/2014, 9:41am  ET

C) A man from Roanoke, Va. was taking a firearms safety class with his wife when he accidentally shot himself in the hand. The bullet also hit his wife in the leg. They were both taken to the hospital and are recovering.

Winner: C


April 23, 2012

A) A wanted Taliban commander in Afganistan turned himself in to officials and demanded the hundred dollar reward as advertised on the poster bearing his face. The Washington Post says officials confirmed it was him and arrested him on the spot.

B) A Pennsylvania teenager stole a running car and ate a Twix candy bar and left the trash behind. Police found the car, the candy wrapper and his fingerprints then arrested him.

C) A Kentucky man stole gasoline out of a police car by siphoning it into a gas can. His girlfriend snapped a picture and posted it on Facebook as a joke. Police didn't find it funny and charged him.

Winner: C


April 16, 2012

A)A Washington state man pocket-dialed 911 four times inside cars he had stolen over a two-week period . On the calls, he discussed the stolen vehicles and his plans for more thefts. Police tracked the calls and arrested the man.

B)An Ohio driving instructor might need to take a driver refresher course. The woman was pulled over by police after she was driving erratically. She failed a sobriety test and police learned she had just dropped off a student. She was arrested and charged with a D.U.I. and child endangerment.

C)After the earthquake in Thailand last Wednesday, a local KFC posted a warning on their Facebook page that said "Let's hurry home and follow the earthquake news. And don't forget to order your favorite KFC menu." After online backlash, KFC removed the statement and issued a public apology.

Winner: A


April 9, 2012

A) What do you do when you get a bad hamburger? One Tennessee woman decided to call 911 about it. She reported that the bad burger "tasted funny." She was charged with abusing 911 and taken to jail.

B) A Florida woman was found "au naturel" in in Vero Beach, Florida. When she couldn't come up with a good explanation for the nudity and police suspected alcohol, they arrested her for disorderly intoxication.

C) An Arizona risk-management specialist was driving a county vehicle in the wrong direction on a one-way street while intoxicated. Police stopped him and found cocaine and marijuana on the county employee. He's now facing several charges including DUI and possession of narcotics.

Winner: C

April 2, 2012

A) A Washington state man stole a pick-up truck and crashed the truck into a house. The man had been eating a croissant and texting when he lost control of the vehicle. He was arrested and booked for possesion of stolen property.

B) A Utah man stole his father's credit card to go on a spending spree. He hired a limo, stayed in a luxury hotel and bought his chauffeur an Apple laptop. Police arrested the man after he left his ID card behind at the hotel.

C) A Pennsylvania man was detained at a Philadelphia Airport after security found fireworks in his backpack. The man was questioned and released. It is believed he forgot to remove the fireworks before going through security.

Winner: B


March 26, 2012

A) A Denver woman was dismissed from jury duty after saying she suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. Later, she told a local radio show she made up the story. The judge was listening and charged the woman with perjury.

B) A Florida woman got impatient while waiting for a gas pump at a Miami gas station. She tried to cut in front of the next car, but lost control and slammed into the gas pump, causing a huge explosion and fire. No injuries were reported and no word on whether charges will be filed.

C) A Pikesville man stopped by a Hagerstown prison to visit his father, who was serving time for murder. The man was hiding morphine and other drugs in his shorts. He was arrested and sentenced to five years in prison.

Winner: A


March 19, 2012

A) A Wyoming man stopped to ask for directions at a state police station. After getting out of his vehicle, officers realized the man had been drinking and was behaving erratically. Police charged him with a DUI.

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