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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 9/1/2014, 5:33am  ET

B) A Pennsylvania man who tried to eat a marijuana plant when police came to search his home. But, go figures, he couldn't finish the whole thing before the cops found him. They seized 4 pounds of marijuana and thousands of dollars in cash.

C) A high school student who apparently drugged his teacher with butt- enchancing drugs. The North Carolina woman claims the kid put the pills in her coffee. The student was disciplined by the school but no word if she pressed charges.

Winner: B


October 1, 2012

A) A Florida man who deposited a stolen $1,000 check into an ATM, and then, tried to withdraw the money. When the ATM took his card, he tied a seatbelt to the ATM and attempted to rip it from the wall. He didn't get away with any cash, but a bank camera caught the whole thing on tape.

B) A Pennsylvania woman who was more worried about good hygiene than a stint in jail. She insisted on taking a bath when police showed up at her door with an arrest warrant. She tried to close the door on the officers and fought with them when they tried to arrest her.

C) A Florida man who assaulted two police officers before attempting to escape... into the ocean. After refusing arrest, the man punched out a bedroom window with his head and ran into the Atlantic. The officers are okay, but the man is now in jail.

Winner: A


September 24, 2012

A) A Michigan woman really wanted some hot sauce for her nachos. But when a 7- Eleven didn't have it, she got angry and squirted the clerk with ketchup. A police officer had to escort the woman out of the store.

B) NFL still has not reached a deal with the regular referees. More mistakes were made around the league yesterday including the Redskins-Bengals game. For example, the Redskins were penalized 20 yards instead of 15 for unsportsmanlike conduct in the final seconds of their 38-31 loss.

C) Police say a couple from Washington state stole a rare coin collection worth $100,000 and then spent the coins at face-value on a movie and pizza. The collection included a quarter that's estimated to be worth thousands of dollars.

Winner: C


September 17, 2012

A) Last night, the Redskins had a chance at a game-tying field goal. But things went downhill when a Rams player pushed Redskins receiver Josh Morgan. Morgan retaliated by chucking the football at him. The 'Skins were penalized 15 yards and the field goal was short.

B) On September 11th, most media organizations cut away from regular programming to honor a moment of silence. But not NBC. They skipped the moment to air an interview with Kris Jenner, from the reality show "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."

C) A Florida teenager broke into a home to steal fishing rods, a guitar, and six harmonicas. But he got a little hungry so he went ahead and made himself an Eggo waffle with Aunt Jemima syrup drizzled on top! The 16-year-old was arrested and charged with burglary.

Winner: B


September 10, 2012

A) A 47-year-old man in Washington state accidentally called 911 last week. The only problem? It happened while he was stealing a car...and drunk. He got away from police that night...but they caught up with the man after his phone accidentally called 911 again the next morning.

B) A 14-year-old was arrested at a Florida Walmart for shoplifting...but it turns out the cop who 'arrested' him was actually his 17-year-old friend. After flashing a fake badge, police say he cuffed his friend and the duo made off with stolen merchandise. Store employees caught on and called the REAL police when they saw him uncuff his friend in the parking lot. The two were arrested later.

C) A New York man tried to use a counterfeit $50 bill to pay for food at an amusement park. Security caught him...so he tried to eat $1,200 more of the fake cash. Security managed to retrieve the bills. The man is now under arrest.

Winner: B


September 3, 2012

A) A New Mexico inmate spent five months trying to break out of his cell using a razor blade and popsicle sticks and he succeeded! But once he got outside, he changed his mind and returned to his cell.

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