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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/14/2014, 9:41am  ET

Winner: B


April 22, 2013

A) A New Jersey man who tried to steal a car, but couldn't drive it! The 18-year- old held up the owner of a Porsche at gunpoint, then tried to drive away. But he couldn't drive a stick-shift. Police got him as he ran away.

B) An Ohio man who stole a grill, and left a trail of charcoal right to his house. Police found the thief taking apart the grill. The man said he found the grill in an alley. When cops didn't believe him, he blamed a homeless man.

C) Movie star Reese Witherspoon who was arrested after verbally harassing a police officer when her husband was pulled over for driving drunk. She asked police if they knew who she was and told them they couldn't tell her to stay in the car because she's a U.S. citizen on American soil. She has since apologized to police.

Winner: A


April 15, 2013

A) Three Wyoming men who stole a samurai sword, then left a trail of footprints to their getaway house. Police followed the prints from one home to the other, And found the thieves digging through a bunch of stolen goods.

B) Two Oregon burglars who took an orange juice break before they drove off, and left the juice carton in the garage covered with their DNA, which was in the FBI database. One of the crooks is in jail, and the police are still working on charges against the other.

C) They say idle hands are the devil's playground. A "bored" Indiana woman who tried to play a trick on her boyfriend, and ended up in the slammer. The 19-year- old told him her job was being robbed. He called police, but when they showed up, nothing was wrong. She was arrested for filing a false report.

Winner: A


April 8, 2013

A) A Pennsylvania man who tried to pay for his cab fare with weed. The man was short on cash so he tried to slide the driver a bag of marijuana to cover the moneys he owed. The cabbie reported him to two cops that were standing nearby.

B) A DC man who tried to rob 2 banks that were 3 blocks apart, but the tellers couldn't understand what he was asking because his notes were so confusing. The first teller sent him away. The second figured out he was trying to rob her and called the cops.

C) A New York man who kept sneaking INTO jail. The 36-year-old used phony info to get into jail because he thought the people there were "nice." He could end up getting locked up for ten years for felony burglary.

Winner: B


April 1, 2013

A) Three Virginia teens who smashed jugs of milk at grocery stores, then posted video of it on YouTube. The kids made a huge mess, and are now in a huge mess, each charged with 7 counts of disorderly conduct and 7 counts of destruction of property.

B) A California thief who put his mask on in front of a store's security camera. The crook tried to break the glass door, but spooked himself and ran. He then tripped over the curb and fell on his face in the parking lot.

C) An Easter Bunny who forgot to wear his helmet. The bunny rode his motorcycle down the highway, until a police officer pulled him over. The bunny hopped away with just a warning.

Winner: B


March 25, 2013

A) A Florida man who stole an air conditioner to pay a shoplifting debt. The 18 year old was pushing the unit in a wheelbarrow and got stopped by a cop. He told the cop he was selling it for scrap to pay the 200 dollars he owed Wal-Mart for stealing.

B) Two California thieves who stole a machine from Hooters that turned out to be a JUKEBOX. The thieves probably thought it was an ATM. But they won't be getting any cash, except maybe Johnny Cash.

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