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For good and ill, adoption transformed by Internet

Thursday - 12/13/2012, 12:46am  ET

HOLD FOR RELEASE UNTIL 12:01 A.M. EST THURSDAY, DEC. 13, 2012. THIS PHOTO MAY NOT BE PUBLISHED, BROADCAST OR POSTED ONLINE BEFORE 12:01 A.M. EST THURSDAY, DEC. 13, 2012 - This May 2012 photo provided by studioU photography shows, from left, Jed Taufer and Vicki Taufer of Morton, Ill., and their adopted 3-year-old daughter, Purnima, while the family was attending a wedding in Kona, Hawaii. The Taufers, who adopted Purnima from Nepal, found the Internet invaluable during the process. They were able to communicate regularly by Skype during the six months in 2010-11 when Vicki stayed with Purnima, in Katmandu waiting for authorization. They used the Internet to build friendships with other families struggling to complete adoptions from Nepal, and to raise funds to cover their ever-ballooning legal and logistical costs. (AP Photo/studioU photography)

DAVID CRARY
AP National Writer

NEW YORK (AP) -- In the emotion-charged realm of adoption, the Internet has been a transformative force, often for good, sometimes for ill.

It has facilitated matches bringing neglected orphans into loving homes on the far side of the world, and provides crucial advice and support for families at every challenging stage of the adoption process. Yet it also can be an effective tool for scammers and hucksters seeking to exploit would-be adoptive parents.

"I can't imagine an area more ripe for exploitation -- people trying to form families or find a place for their unborn child," said Denise Bierly, president of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. "It's like Internet dating, except way more scary and dangerous."

Through nearly two decades of widespread Internet use, there's been little rigorous research into its impact on adoption. A leading think-tank, the Donaldson Adoption Institute, has launched a multiyear study to fill that void and is issuing a comprehensive report Thursday outlining the profound changes that have unfolded.

Internet-based tools "are transforming adoption practices, challenging laws and policies, offering unprecedented opportunities and resources, and raising critical ethical, legal and procedural issues," says the report.

On the plus side, the report notes that many websites and Internet-based tools -- including the photo-listing of available children -- have expedited adoptions of countless children. The Internet offers a vast array of information and training, and enables would-be adoptive parents to present themselves in online profiles to pregnant women considering adoption.

Vicki and Jed Taufer of Morton, Ill., who battled months of bureaucratic delays to adopt a girl from Nepal, said they could scarcely imagine going through that trying experience in the pre-Internet age.

They were able to communicate regularly by Skype during the six months in 2010-11 when Vicki stayed with their daughter, Purnima, in Katmandu, waiting for the adoption to be authorized by U.S. authorities. They also used the Internet to build close friendships with other families struggling to complete adoptions from Nepal, and to raise funds to cover their ever-ballooning legal and logistical costs.

"We had to make some pretty big decisions over Skype," said Vicki. "It allowed us to stay connected as a family."

Another important consequence of the Internet: Finding birth relatives is becoming easier and more common thanks to online search capabilities, hastening the likely phase-out of "closed" adoption while broadening relationships between adoptive and birth families.

The report advises adoption professionals to revise their training regimens to reflect the reality that many affected parties will be able to find each other at some point, and to prepare them for such reunions, whether wanted or unwanted.

On the negative side, the report details how adoption scams -- which predate the Internet -- now take more sophisticated and wide-ranging forms thanks to the misuse of social media.

There have been at least a half dozen recent cases across multiple states where women who claiming to be pregnant used the Internet to connect with couples wanting to adopt. In exchange for paying the woman's living expenses, couples were promised -- falsely -- that they would eventually be able to adopt the baby.

Scott Rowland, a prosecutor in Oklahoma, said one victim lost $30,000 while supporting what turned out to be a fictitious pregnancy.

"People need to be more educated, or there's a very real risk they can pulled into bad practices and scams," said Donaldson Institute executive director Adam Pertman. "We hope regulators, educators, law enforcement officials and child welfare organizations will look at this and say 'Enough already. We can't allow the Wild West.'"

The Donaldson report also warns that the Internet is accelerating a "commodification" of adoption, with would-be adoptive parents being viewed as commercial clients and less emphasis placed on the idea that adoption's primary purpose is finding families for children.

Far too often, says Pertman, the child's best interest is not the paramount factor as an adoption is arranged.

The report notes that ads for adoption services can crop up on websites amid ads for other commercial products, pitching the possibility of completing adoptions in a few months.

"Promising a quick, easy adoption raises serious questions about how that can be accomplished," Pertman said. "That's not how it works in most of the real world."

One example of an Internet-based adoption service is the Brandon, Fla.- based Adoption Consultancy. Its executive director, Nicole Witt, describes herself as a "wedding planner for adoptions" and says she's assisted in about 75 adoptions annually since founding the firm seven years ago, with fees that range up to $2,750.

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